Teenage Warfare
by Zemara Prime
Summary: Transformers Prime - Someone replaces the 'Bots and 'Cons weapons with paintballs. But who? Set before Season 3. No slash. Just crack.


**Teenage Warfare**

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Transformers Prime - Someone replaces the 'Bots and 'Cons weapons with paintballs. But who? Set before Season 3. No slash. Just crack.

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The sun was just beginning to climb over the horizon when a metallic cry rang out. The dead and scarred land destined to be a battlefield was devoid of organic life. Even the wind had an eerie stillness to it on this crisp March morning.

"Decepticons! Rise up and attack!" yelled the warlord as he climbed over a hill. Waving his arm in the air he roared and rushed onto the field, his legions of drones faithfully following him. Not far behind, the devious air commander and his seekers transformed and circled overhead, ready to engage the enemy at their leader's command.

"Autobots, roll out!" Optimus cried. Arcee, Bumblebee, Wheeljack and Bulkead confidently followed the Prime. Always the first into battle, the two leaders transformed their swords and exchanged blows. They were evenly matched in strength and skill, neither one getting the upper hand. Several kliks went by, both knowing they were getting nowhere. Optimus was the first to transform his gun, quickly pointing it at the warlord and firing before he could react.

Megatron snarled and raised a servo protectively to his chest.

Noticing the odd occurance, both armies stopped short of attacking one another to stare at the pair.

"What the slag?!" Megatron cried. He looked down at his torso, a splatter of neon green paint completely covering up the 'Con symbol. Eyes wide, Optimus looked down at his gun in surprise. "What trickery is this, Prime?" Megatron demanded. "You dare humiliate me like this?!" he said with fists clenched. "I…do not understand," Optimus stated.

Suddenly, someone cried out, "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Everyone turned toward the sound.

"That's _my _line!" Wheeljack yelled.

A Cybertronian-sized grenade soared overhead, bouncing twice before landing in the middle of the two leaders. They only had time to glance at each other in confusion before the device exploded. A cloud of blue dust rose in thick waves around the defenseless armies. Eradicons began to flee from the cloud that was choking their intakes. Optimus and Megatron's fronts were covered helm to foot in the sticky liquid. As a breeze cleared the air, a form could be seen standing on a small hill, writhing in laughter.

"Ratchet?" cried the Autobots. "Haha!" Ratchet laughed. "Who knew Earthlings could be this imaginative."

"Yes! 100 points for the Autobots!" yelled Miko. She, Jack, and Raf were jumping up and down around Ratchet in excitement. "What do you mean, 'for the Autobots'? We're covered in this mess too!" cried Arcee.

"No, no, no! This is definitely gonna ruin my paint job. You four are gonna pay!" Knockout yelled, pointing and accusing finger at the group. He raised his weapon to fire at the Autobot medic. Optimus grabbed for the weapon, but he was too late. Knockout fired.

The shot hit Ratchet at point-blank range, right in the middle of his forehead. The force of the impact caused Ratchet's head to sway back. His optics flickered and he staggered. "Ratchet, no!" cried Optimus. The medic fell backwards and landed with a thud on the hard earth. Knockout smirked in victory. The three pre-teens looked at each other in awe.

Then Ratchet groaned. He lifted a servo up to the wound on his head. A smear of yellow paint came off on his finger. "Yellow? Raf, I specifically told you to put neon pink paintballs in Knockout's gun," he scolded. Raf grinned shyly and shrugged his shoulders.

"WHAT?!" Knockout interjected. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!" he screamed, turning even redder in the face than his own paint job.

"Shut up, Knockout," Megatron calmly replied, cocking his gun and shooting the doc in the face. Knockout screamed and ran around blindly. "Get it off, get it off!"

The warlord watched him with a bored expression. "Well, Prime, it looks like we have a little truce…"

"….for now," Optimus finished for him before taking aim...

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By nightfall, the barren battlefield had turned into a rainbow of bright colors. Neons, pastels, and even metallic hues had covered the ground and the exhausted forms resting on it.

"So, Megatron, is this the beginning of peace?" asked Optimus.

Megatron wiped a hand across Optimus's chest, removing most of the paint from the Autobot symbol.

"Don't bet on it, Orion," purred Megatron, shaking the still-wet paint from his hand. "But if you ever need an interior decorator for the base, give me a call." He transformed and jetted off, with the 'Cons following their leader back home.

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The End! I love putting Ratchet in these crazy situations. He's too fun. Review please, and fave if you liked it :3


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